you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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