And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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