FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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