Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
