Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize