come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?