If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.