R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
