You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
