Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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