we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
