It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
