just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
