I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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