Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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