yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
