Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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