Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
