you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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