This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
