Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
