Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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