Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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