I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
