Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
