What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
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This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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