Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
