How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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