Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Welp...herpes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
