They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
