Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
