halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
