How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
