Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
