I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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