ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
