wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
