found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Everclear isn't food dammit
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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