If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
