I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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