I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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