i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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