im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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