so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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