so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
