Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
