she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
