Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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