You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I look better un-naked...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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