is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All the doctor said was why
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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