oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
