so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
