Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
