you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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