You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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