weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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