Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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