Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The power of my boobs compel you
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
