Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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