im drinking this country out of the recession.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
