based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
