I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
