Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
