Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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