he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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