I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
