I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
