i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
