at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
