Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
